Birthday Gift ♥

Haha . I wanna write my blog for a long time i just didnt know what should i write :) Well , my birthday just past so imma write something bout me then :) Honestly , i thought my dad forgot bout my birthday , same with my bro :p cause usually they'l just ask what flavoured cake i want and all and all but noooooo ? this time they didnt say a thing bout it @@ i thought about surprising my dad by catcthing him bout my birthday on 26th dec but i was the one who got surprised . haha ! :D ♥ My sis planned something 2 days before my B day . Awwh ! Too bad ! haha :D ! Before i blow the candle , i said my wish out loud that i want a bowling ball ,  amin ! :D And yes , my wish came true ! haha :D ♥ Daddy bought me aset of bowling stuffs that includes a ball , a bag and a pair of bowling shoes ♥ Yeaayy !!! xD Haha , got no number 10 ball so i pick 9.8 instead :) there's no green colour so i took black and sumthing like light brown or gold . Its pretty :p And the whole set price is just RM250 :D LOVE IT dad ! thank you  ♥ Muah3 :* Today went to The Mines try my new ball and yeahh that ball is quite light LOL :S but its ok , i stil love it :) i realised that i can my ball curve ! muahahaha ! xD Yorhh , i play straight ball but i can make a curve ? COOL :D haha . On the way home mum called and asked me bout the brand of my bro's classic guitar . She said she'l buy one for me when she's come back here at Malaysia :) ohhh yeaahh ! xD I want acoustic guitar mum ! :D with a set of amplifire also ! xD OMG i cant wait to have one :D ♥ ohh yeahh , i didnt change my phone on birthdays for a long time but i never espect to have birthday presents like this :D haha . Best parents ever :* thx mum , dad :) iloveya'll :** ♥♥  

FINE

Well i wanna write my blog for a long time now but i dont know what should i write . haha , okay im  paphetic =~= maybe because i dont wanna write stuff bout sumthin ? u know what i mean . if u dont then just beat it :) kayy , i wanna write bout the sweetness of life . Yeahh its fun for tasting how beautiful , gorgeous , colourful life can be . As a female , things i like in my life is fashion , pretty stuffs , cool attitude and so much more . there's tons of  uncountable intrest ! i like or love so many things tat  i cant even choose or make decisions some times . Although im kinda realistic in person , but as a muslim , i choose to be someone who has a human heart n not cruel or selfish or anything that makes me bad inside . Yess , i make mistakes but thats human's nature right ? After realising it all i do is pray to god to forgive me and lead me to a better way so i wont make d same mistakes again . Im trying to live as a strong girl , a strong person and a strong human . I dont really wanna take any revenge to other peoples cuz its soo BAD :( Honestly , im not tat good cause i think i can manipulate people sometimes and i dont want become a bad guy :( so its ok for me being bullied at least others are fine :) one day , they'l realise their mistakes too and when tat time comes i've already forgotten what they've done to me :) Actually , its not hard to live happily in this life . Life's short , remember ? I stil dont get it how i can be so emo few years ago =='' i can smile without wearing any masks on now :) i had friends who'l back up me instead of betraying me :) i have family tat loves me and caring :) Finally , i finally found myself tat i've lost before , so long ago :) Next year , im gonna taste a different kind of life . Im still gonna stand firm and walk through any hardships :) i can be as strong as i use to be . Tats just who i am .Insyaallah ,  Everythings gonna be just FINE .

心，终于碎了

我选折离开你，也是自私的。 因为我不想浪费自己的力气等着再次看到你象之前那样对我的好。
我很累了，一直烦我们的问题，让我无法集中精神读书。想起我们的问题，会心疼，会流泪，会挣扎。现在，你不在了，心里也松了一口气。 不必担心任何东西除了自己。之前一直以为有你在心再痛也不会碎，现在心，终于碎了 .. 让我哭吧，大哭一场就会感到好一些，不是么？错 。 因为我可以每一天都大哭，寂寞时就哭，想起你就哭，心痛时就哭。 爱哭包嘛，是这样的啦 。 不过，被佳衍开导之后，我很少哭， 最多都几行泪水 。 并不多，最少两行。真没想到，你会比我先放弃。无所谓， 有一天会了解我的痛也是你自己 :') 

何时

何时能再次以特别的身份，好好对待你？何时能对你说对不起，我会以不同方式和你在一起。？何时能实现我所谓的‘现在的梦想’？何时能再次好好地，紧紧地，拥抱你？何时能再次握你那细细的手指？何时能告诉你，我多么的珍惜你？何时能对你证明我对你是认真，不是玩玩的 .. ？ 何时能再次看到你线的睡前及早安信息？何时能再次补偿你？ 何时能告诉你，有你，真好 ..  ？... 对不起 ...  之前除了责备你我什么都不理会，现在已失去你就只会流泪 .. 原很有信心挽回，现不知有没有机会 ;'( 心很痛，真的很痛  x'(

我的问题

真正的原因是因为我没试过坦白说出自己的问题，所以一直一直都很怕要说出来 .. 我怕我会写到太狠，所以真的真的很怕会伤到你 ..  才选择放在心里 .. 呃 .. 你有时会误会我讲的意思而责骂我，那个等饭吃就是咧子。 有时你讲一样东西我问两个问题是因为怕我误会你然后讲话让你不开心 .. 我烦你烦到你分不清我什么时候需要你，因为我不要你担心，虽然同时也需要你的安慰 .. 不过，有时问你是否能安慰我的时候，你会说：‘我不知道要讲什么 .. ’ 没话讲就算了，你未免也太敷衍我了吧？“嗯，哦，哦给，不知道~炸到 .. 对不起咯 .. ” 成为你的口头弹了。 我问你怎么办你说不知道，若有一天你问我一样的东西我答你同一句你又会有什么反应？ 有时真么很想做些让你去挣扎的东西，但那不正是在报复么？ 有你我才学会更爱自己。我想变美，美到走到哪里就有眼睛瞄的程度。因为我想要你觉得很光荣，光荣拥有我。你应该没这种想法吧？你没有我有 ;') 我很光荣拥有一位好男人。 谢谢你在过马路的时候带我走，谢谢你在我吃不完食物的时候帮我吃完， 谢谢你之前愿意花钱请我吃，谢谢你一直顶不顺我的态度而受苦。 其实，你也很为难吧？我明白的 .. 之前你告诉了我你没安全感之后，我就觉得 ：‘Aaaww .. 真的是太不应该了！ 我怎么可以让比有这种想法？比，真的对不起~我会好好宠你对待你当作补偿~’ 哈哈 .. 我现在缺乏安全感哦 ..  ;') 你叫我担心自己，若我这么做我会想放弃 .. 我不想放弃我们之间的感情，我要我们一直在一起！ 我已给你全心全意，怎么可以那么容易放弃？ 当我感觉不到爱意，表示我已失去自己 .. 我不知道你到底有没有好好珍惜我们的关系。 我一直努力改变自己，总觉得是单方面的努力 .. 你不主动，不浪漫，脾气硬，我不介意。 你不珍惜，我就接受不到 .. 难道你要我自暴自弃，才会对我感到疼惜？ 难道你要我留血泪，才感到满意？ 我可以不要酱消极，但你以冷清的态度对待我让我真的不知该怎么做 .. 我看不到你在追求爱情的那一面 .. 或许是我自己太心急 .. 也可能是真的完全没安全感了 .. 我是真的真的很爱你的，但这些想法让我很痛苦 .. 其实我不想告诉你这些是怕我有误会什么 .. 我知道你很宠我的，对吧？宠到不舍的骂我，已经是证据 .. 我可以写更多的，只是今天你说愿意和我一起拼的时候我开心过度忘完了 .. 哈哈 .. 可笑吧？ 我就是不能不原谅你 .. ;')
我希望我们能坚持到底，只有你对我说我愿意，我相信，有一天我们会拥有属于我们の，幸福。

难受

刚才下午，我们又吵架了 .. 因为？ 我看到你之前在一张纸写的东西。 读了之后，是有点吓到，但真正在想的是，我又做错了什么？为什么他要那样写.. ？原因是什么？由于当时快考试了，我读一遍只想到这三个问题便没想了。昨夜读书读到三点半早上，所以做paper 1 的时候头很重。 其实我会做的话我会一直想的，不过很多都是politics的东西，我都没读到！ 结果做十多题我的脑一直吵我很重，很痛、辛苦 .. :'( 当时的我真的好想哭出来 .. 去年考试睡多了，结果今年考试我完全不会睡 ==''  就这样挨着笨重的头考历史试卷一。 到家我问你你写的东西是指什么意思，你说你忘了。没关系，我介意的是为什么你忍心写那么过分的话 .. ？ 你写了‘你骗我’ ....... 我骗你什么？ 是，我骗走你的心 .. 你要回的话恐怕我还不到给你 .. 因为我不要你离开 :'( 你说 ‘许下的承诺 ，不见了 ..’ 我知道，我很容易转变心意是因为我很情绪化。 你明明了解我的性格，所以不是每件事我都做的到 .. 对，或许我给你的承诺不是每个我都遵守到，至少我很努力了。我每天都有想，一直要给你最好，一直要你开开心心，幸福快乐地和我在一起，你竟然写出这种话 .. 很伤我心你懂么？难道之前为你做出的一切还不够么 .. ？你写的东西给我一种你不懂得珍惜我的好 .. 通常男生给我酱的感觉的时候，我会想要不要对他冷死一阵子，给他去领悟他的过错，感到内疚。以牙还牙，我每次都是这样对待别人的。但唯有你，我狠不下心这么做 .. 不管我多么讨厌你敷衍我，你不理我，你弄到我很生气，你伤我的心，我都会不忍心不再对你好 .. 因为我一向来都想给你最好的 .. 你怎么可以酱对我 .. ？ i wanted give you the best . i always tell you that . and im doing it every second we chat , every minute we laugh , every hour we spend our time and every moment we're together . i've always wanted you to feel of happiness when you're with me . i touched your feelings with my love , i let you cry by hurting your heart , but i'll never break you down for what i did or any mistake you've done  . you're just too precious to me and you know that . you know that all along .. 我一直认为有你在身边你已经算是对我好，后来发现到单单有你的陪伴是不够的 .. 我想拥有你的心 .. 我选择在你不知所措的时候自我安慰，都好过一直想太多 .. 我原谅你，但你也想想，我为你说那些过分的话哭了几次？你说会改 .. 我也无可奈何了。也不打算如何，只想要继续我们的生活，我们在一起的日子， 我们互相给与对方支持。你知道么？自从你开始依赖我之后你已是我的依靠。我爱你，贝比 ❤

晶

你，是在两年前和我一起读3J的班的同学。当时，我们彼此都不认识对方。开学时，我以为你是要引人注目所以和老师比较友善，也认为可能你的成绩很好？没想到，第一次考试的成绩都不会好到哪里去~哈哈~（我好衰哦 >< ）日子久了，发现到你很情绪化，很鲁莽，很辛苦也很可怜 .. 可惜，当时的我们关系很平淡，我也没什么帮你除了听你诉苦。
去年，我们刚好又读同一班。我记得你问过我能不能和你一起坐，因为你没什么认识的人。我拒绝了因为我已经答应thurga要坐她旁边。你知不知道，其实我后悔过拒绝你？去年每次看你能和aien谈得那么开心，秘密也常告诉她，悄悄话也很多，总是让我感到好奇你们到底在讲什么。我很想参进你们的话题，但不知道该怎么做你才肯share给我谈。或许，是我想太多，我觉得你不信任我，所以什么都不讲给我听。我也觉得，你是个不好的榜样。明明会辨认是非，还自残之类的。真不明白，为什么你要这么做。我会这样想，也是因为不够了解你。抱歉，误会你了 .. 今年，原本还是一样没什么改变，但，自从你那天向我求救后，我发现我想保护你。 你很累了，我明白。今天你一直讲你生下来是被别人讨厌的，你错了 .. 你错了，因为我并不讨厌你。我倒是很疼很疼你。那天，你在班上叫我，说：“要毕业了叻！”若你是在前几个月讲这句的话，我会说我很开心！ 不过现在 .. 我不知要给你什么反应。只给了一个苦笑，要开口说：“嗯咯 .. 不想毕业叻 ” 的时候， 你早我一步说：“好开心哦！” 之后，就转头了 .. 我瞬间傻了眼。 也领悟到，我舍不得你。你的背影，你的笑容，你的眼泪，你的一举一动，明年或许见不到了 .. 就算见到，那之后那几年呢？毕业后，我们还会联络么？ .. 我不敢想象。你教了我，如何看透一个人的真面目。保护自己，虽然方法不是很好 .. 你让我看到你最软弱及不知所措的一面，我很感谢你 .. 因为我知道，多多少少你还是信得过我。我真的很疼，你这位朋友。几年后，我希望你在面对不了挫折的时候会想到我。在需要依靠的时候，知道我随时准备陪你渡过难关。在一个人回想往事的时候，想到我们 Q FAT J 这组人。 因为我，是不会忘了你的 :') 我爱你，我的朋友。

WISMA MCA LECTURE

kayy , 2day went to a lecture bout spm english ? i think . starts at 2 ends at 5 . D thing is , me n Li Ting were late 45-50 minutes thr. haha . y ? cuz we took d wrong train . HELL , its so freakin tiring to go one place tat i nvr went b4 == Well , 2day's my 1st time taking underground train also . hehe . so fun ^^ when we're bout to arrive thr , starts raining ! RUN RUN RUN ! my jeans r slipping n OMG ! jus a lil bit more ... >< ! we breathed as hard as we could inside the building , workers welcomed us with a smile n ask us to chill down . inside the're so manyy ppl yaaww . gud thing d lecturer --- ERIC CHONG , stil save some points when we get there . Lucky ! yeahh i know what to do now (i think :p) n d lecture helps me too :) hope i'l start my study immediately :P

06/08/2011 basketball is my new LOVE

Yeahhhh ~ today basketball competition for 1 MURID 1 SUKAN in my skul _SMJK YU HUA , KAJANG . 1st round , my team are like SUCKERS mannnn !!! gosh ! we sucked !! the other team are like warming up but not much . OMG ! i was like :' doomeddd ' Wad reli pissed me in the morning is , our captain - AIN didnt show up . every one was thinkin : 'wad the hell ?! ' FREAKIN OUTT ! Wad should we do ??? after 1st round i was pissed with thurga cuz i thought she was bein a star on the show n 2nd round made me even more pissed cuz she replace other gurls instead of lettin me out . Woaaahhh TIME OUT ! how could u ? but its ok , i misunderstanded so , SORRY :P 3rd round im in and WOAAAHH .. my chest hurts .. especially when the heart is pumping so strongly . i cant breath with my nose cuz all the mucus stucked thr == i got think whether im gonna faint or wad . so scaredd >< Thurga told me tat we're having semi-final at 2 sumthin . she wanted me to go , i was like , sure, cool . Cuz of goin to semi-final , i am sooooo thirsty so i BUKA PUASA == bought chrysanthemum tea n a bread to eat . kinda PAISEH to eat 'out loud' so eat at GREENHOUSE lol . Nobody's thr wad ? but in the end im not on stage again ~ == pphhht ! and so with the last round == i wanted feel the glory of getting the 2nd place but noooo ><''' its ok , we've won wad ? :D my first time playin basketball in a competition(i never played basketball in competition b4 , but when form one got play as a game in pj class once . ONCE only lehh !) ~ AAAUUWWW ! shuang ahah ! xD here comes a new LOVE for me in sports ! xD

实现？

感觉上我最近梦到的东西都会实现 ... 比如说：中六跳楼事件？若没记错的话，我记得我当时梦醒之后躺在床上想：“学校不可能有人会跳楼，更何况是中六？”嗯 ... 好像是这样 ... 结果几个月之后，真的发生了 ... 我还要是在一个月之后才发现我曾梦过这事件？还有今天，彩排运动会。我梦到的情景是：angel站在我前面跳舞边唱 everyday im shuffleling ~ 结果真的发生叻！好可怕！我梦到的东西通常很少都会在现实中发生的，怎么越来越多梦逐渐地在现实生活里出现？真的好可怕 ... 我怕我梦到什么不该梦到的东西，结果真的遇到同样让我感到熟悉的事就真的恐怖咯 ... 天啊 ><


你霸占了我的心。 在生活里，总是找着你的背影。就算没看见你，心里都会默默地想起 ... 你的脸，你的身躯，你的体贴，你给的快乐，安全感，担忧及思念 ... 你知不知道， 你的出现，改变了我的一切。 你让我再次看到生活的彩色， 颜色的美感， 太阳的温柔。我总是对你说，我喜欢看你那无忧无虑的笑容。 有一段时期， 那笑容消失了 ... 导致我们也在吵架了 ... 但，我们最终还是过的那一关~你的脸上再次浮现我最喜欢看的那笑容~请你保持这样，不再改变。 不再让那笑容不见， 因为我怕， 当我没机会看到那笑容的时候，证明你已不在我身边 ... 也或许原因是因为我们彼此都改变了 ...

STUDY

Ermm .. 2day thr's exhibition inside our school hall well yeahh lots of ppls from different college came around . I didnt really pay any attention at this kind of exhibition for the past 4 years b4 but i've changed tat . haha . I went to find the subject im aiming for --- MASS COM . full name is mass communication . i think learnin tat is kinda big advantage and its a lil bit different then many other ppl wanted to learn ? although thr's lots of students taking this course but its hard to find 1 around us lol . i think not bad wad ? at least the job's salary is high though . haha xD im so like interested in arts but heyy , social ok wad ? at least is acceptable . i like psychology too but HELP college is the only college hav tat course :( its ok , i'l just fokus on others though .

了解

我们认识有半年多了吧~对彼此的脾气也应该了解不少了吧？？我们，真的遇到对的人吗？真的是made for each other吗？真的应该在一起吗？我觉得我并没找错人，是他！就是他了！...不是么？这些问题偶尔会出现在我脑海里，不过我不介意，我只在意现在的你。你过得如何，心情差不差，吃得饱不饱... 由于我的年龄大过你，所以我会觉得你思想不够成熟也是正常的嘛~不过我的忍耐力真的要很好，因为当日子久了，你也没发现到几时不小心说错话之类的吧？我属于把事情收在心里的人，默默的感到难过，流泪及思念。若我在控制情绪的话，我必须一个人静一静才能把思想慢慢地拼在一起。不然，我讲话会越讲越难过，到最后流泪是我忍无可忍才会做的事... 说真的，我把你当我女朋友了耶~你是恋爱里新手的关系，好象女孩子哦~很容易因为我而流泪~那天，看到你的泪滴之后，我知道，我想守护眼前的这位男生。想在别人没注意他的时候，治好他那受伤的心。 在别人看不见他的时候，陪伴着那寂寞的眼神。在我们觉得还没失去对方之前，抱紧对方的身子聆听两人心跳的声。想在做任何决定之前，已经确认好对两人之间都不会有伤害... 我很幸福，因为能遇上你。不曾后悔过为了你而放弃，所以我们要坚持下去 :) 之前说要保护我的人是你噢？现在由我来保护你吧~ 不好意思，我比你想象中的还要坚强哦~ 我不会再丢下你，因为要我这么做实在不容易。 我不能眼睁睁看着你伤心，因为我也会疼在心里... 没有你我不行，因为我已经很认真。 认真地陷入我们之间的感情， 不是好友，也不是情侣。不过我相信，我们在一起的话是可以维持很久的~ :) 我学会了荣忍，学会了在某些情况下隐瞒自己的伤心，学会安慰自己，也学会如何认真地对待一段感情。我人不记仇的，所以有时不开心了一下之后就没事了~因为我不想与你吵架~下次，再看到你的泪水的话，我会抱着你边抹掉你眼角的泪。轻轻的触摸你那悲痛的心，让你把时间忘记。在一起的一举一动，心里受了多少的委屈，对人生感到的累，就在我们拥抱的那期间，通通都没了。当时就只属于我们，两个的空间。

LOVE U

There he goes , my baby walks so slow , ------ tic tac toe yeahh i know ..
We both know it isnt time .. but could you be m-mine ?
[Chorus : ] aww baby , lights on but your mums not home , im sick of lying down alone , with tiz fever fever yeahhh ! my one and own , i wanna get u alone , give you fever fever yeahh
haha . FEVER by Adam Lambert . i missed him >< a lot ... heyy , after spm k ? yeahh we can continue by being casual x) nasty ? hell yeahh . hmm , juz its different from lately two relationships .. ekkk , i should sayy four old relationship , cuz thiz one is casual . im so confused , wad should i do now ? totally in -im , or play cool ? haha . i don wanna break hiz reputation at school .. he's bout to shine , n im bout to get over with my old dayyss . hmm . hehe ^^ im listening to disney cartoons song , dont know why .. im soooo with the songs ~ so touching >< and romantic :D aww , like it waiting for time to pass by , n making decisions for us . do we meant to be ? or isit just my another fantacy .. well , i've cherished myself in his life n he , also do the same thing to me . i've fight for him n heyy , we'l get through tiz year . i promise :) i didnt have a good night sleep yesterdayy cuz i missed him too much . in the end i sleep at near to 3.30 in the morning . its such a hard time to get up from my bed T^T haha . well , gonna sleep nw . sweet dreams my dear :* mmuackz YOU'LL BE IN Y HEART :')

SPM CAMP 7-8.5.3011

Yeahh well im back from SPM CAMP at ULU BERANANG lol ~ quitte fun with classmates niaa :D although its just two days one night but still its very fun 4 me :) i've realised bout my weakness while studying n yahh i had fun x) fun watching THURGA got raped by MEE KIAN (most of it is her laa) PEI YEE . YOKE LING and MEI TING i dont know lol ~ our resort got acon , the cantin is clean and the food not bad ~ A very big difference with the camps tat i usually went lol ~ haha :D Dont know why im sooo crazy with taking pictures everywhere xD i keep using JARVIS TCH's iphone4 , SOON GUOK MING's nokia N900 and LOW SOOK YEE's camera canon (how much i dont know) to kachak kachak yaaa ~ the pool quite dirty cuz its green colour but there still people who enjoys swimming in it . hehheh xD things get so high at night , the sound of 'making love' is everywhere (although its just the same person who's doing it xD) hahaah xD well , love without guys lol ~ its girls nite xp { DONT THINK TOO MUCH BOUT SEX , OK ? ITS NOT } there's also picture as prove . haha . had a fun time and i enjoyed it :)

cheer up , my dear ex-boyfriend :)

wooaahh ! 2dayy is a suprising day ? my ex-boyfriend ---- Benjamin Ooi Soon Aun ---- jus talked to me ?! oh myy goshh !! tat is d 1st time we've talked aftter a year tat we've broke up . well have to say im pity to himm ... i stil remember what he said to me when we're form 3 n nw .. maybe he lost friends because of his arrogant . maybe he didnt realise it but i dont have d guts to tell him .. he looked so sad , so lost . he broke up with his girlfriend ----Mabel Foo ---- becuz the gurl said tat she wanted to be single for so suddenly . i was at heritage ordered drinks n food with my DADA n IKKI -- my bro . he sms me asking wanted to talk so i went back to school for awhile to 'talk' . i felt weird y so suddenly he wanted to talk , it must be sumthin important . haha , i must say im shocked tats y im writing this thing in my blog nw xD he told me whole storyy n all . i notice tat he didnt know whats the problem either . poor thing :( but everytime he says : 'after i break up with u ...' 'after we break up ...' i felt weird bout it . so weird tat he keep saying tat . haha xp he tell me what he thinks bout his life now n yeaahh his lonely without not much friends .. haiizz . i cant help though . maybe he suddenly find me to talk is becuz when we've 1st couple im a very good caunselor ? sorry to tell ya but i've changed . i've changed very emotional n even hurt myself last year .. i cant help u knw , but im stil here for you . so , wish u luck ---- my dear ex-boyfriend :)

13.4.2011

Oh yeahh ~ We've won xD Im so touched ;) okayy , I woke up at 5 todayy n hell i was shocked when i saw the time . i immediatly jump off my bed wore my half-pants . (to be honest i didnt have the time to take a shower >< ) i was soooo scared tat im gonna be late or cant make it in time to IPPD , KAJANG cuz i need to fetch my fren : Yee Chien den go 2 skul / cabin to take our beret's n all . She called me yesterdayy n i tell her to wait me at 5AM . But i woke up late , ahhh Im soryy >< when i went to her house is already 5.20am , i was like : 'woahhh ... ' the clock is ticking n im freaked out ! @@ but in the end i manage to arrive there at 5.35am (i think) n I'M NOT THE LAST PERSON TO BE THERE . why ? cuz 10 person are NOT THERE yet . i was like , 'WAD ? == ' i suddenly felt so funny tat i have to be so worry and all =='' . But still , im relieved ~ im thr nw ~ well , we left at 6.10am cuz wating 4 a stupid junior still she made it thr with us . Arrive at KLANG duno wad time n everyone was thr edy . Ooaah , so scawy >< my heart keep jumping quickly , i was trying to calm myself down . The most important thing at tat time is : i NEED TO GO TOILET !! Its a PAIN to keep holding it n unable to do anyth >< ! I was running (fast walking exactly) to the toilet n fuuhhh . haha xD okay , NEXT >>>> in the field , i felt like going to faint , dont knw y so tired n felt like gonna hug d grass xD keep talking to Piggy bout leftside who's gonna faint rightside who's sitting down n infront who's suddenly fell or already down till its time to start the competition . Well we do everyth n all we have to do nw is wait for the result . Watched performance from the UNIT KUDA n haa enjoyyed it lol x) the horsers are soo 'cool' . One of the horses has a pretty tail , ahhh i want my hair to be just like tat ! xD NEXT >>>> when the result are being announce , i dont wanna hope too much like last time . So sad man . Guys 1st : 3rd place goes to -- Shah Alam , 2nd price goes to -- Hulu Selangor . Tat time i was thinking theres no way we can win . N d 1st prize goes to ------------ (music -- urghh i don wanna hope too much >< ) Ibu Pejabat Polis ... ( huh ? mana tu? ) -----KAJANG !!! yeahhh !!!! woaahh ! aarghh !! xD We've won ?! i cant believe it xDD okay , tats guys , not us ! We're gurls >< okayy , its time for gurls ! 3rd place goes to -- Sepang , 2nd place goes to -- Kajang ( wad?? @@) [ well yeah wif sum woah2 yeah2 n all xD] 1st place goes to -------- (music) Shah alam ( precdited ~) den kommander guys got the 1st place again n gurls got 3rd place . Not bad teach x) gaining the 1st experience n u've won a price back :D in the end , KAJANG is the best lol ~ We've got the big cup back with us xD wooohoo !!!! yeahh baby ! hell GOMBAK won nth at all ! I stil remember when we just met on 12april dey werw like : ' hi , we're from gombak' n all . haha . well i dont remember dey say congratez to us or bye to us . So long suckers ! xD senior , we didnt failed u . Im so proud 4 being ur last badge n we proved ourself of wining this competition with the place tat u used to won at 2007 . Thanks for being my senior n im glad to meet u . U let me join this family this is my 1st family when im in high school . And im proud of it :)

Losed

Well , tis is it . cant do anyth bout it lol .. We've lost .. but its ok , cuz i knw the judges are being unfair . Im so mad at 1st , den only i realised tat , its stupid 4 me 2 be angry . But still , im pissed . Very unpleasant with the result . Those judges , do they even think of our hardwork 4 tiz competition ? Do they know the feel of standing under the hot sun for so many hours in a week ? The boredness or tiredness of doing the same thing over n over again ? NO ! They just simply let their own school win easily without even bother how awful they walk or wadever lah ! When i saw other schools people crying of happiness , i was thinking : ' we're the one who deseve tat present . we're the one who should having tears of happiness .. ' Then ? Here it is . Nothing . haiz ... mama gonna cry 2night . Uhh-ohh . How ? so sad ... i felt tat the judges are making us feeling stupid . I'l just accept the facts . Im not foolish enought to keep moody-ing because of this competition . Cuz it means a lot to me .. Thank u girls , for making n shared a wonderful memory with me . Although we didnt win , But we tried our best . Most importantly , 我输得起！

TOMORROW'S THE DAYY

Omg im so scared .. n nervous ! Tomorrow is d day . D big day tat we've been waiting for so long . huhh ... Hope everyth's fine n hope i wont do anyth wrong . jus so scared lol . After next week competition , i hope i can concentrate on my studies . scared i might not catch up . oh myy gosssshh ! >< we're d 1st group ! aarghhh @@ ! haizz ... well , gonna try mah best for suwwere . hmm . hehe :D gonna meet old frens thr , n muchh more . Last time for tiz kind of competition though . Cant reli convince myself we're gonna win but try its ok , we can do it . dun wanna hope too much but dun wanna lose hope either :) girls , lets do it !

skin care ?

okayy , kaayyy !

competition on 9th april n i HAVENT really train juniors asas yett .
well , dey already knw how it walks likke but hell , i DONT ><
we've trained quite alot dayss n i realised tatt my girls keep on talking on fair skin n all .
haha .

tatt dayy my mum asked me : ' wad kind of seni class ur having ? participate on seni class til u paint ur self with 3 tones colour ? '
i was like : '.... =='' .... haha xD '

well , i made a decision tat after all d competition , i want my skin fair n pretty back xD
haha :DD its kinda hard cuz i like to walkk under d sun during evening :)
hmm ~ im gonna take care of my FACE skin 4 sure ~~
dun wan it to look unhealthy n all >< erhhh ><

d last time i remember of being fair is when i'm form 1 .
owhh my goshh @@ that's 4 yearss agoo ><
hehe :D tats a long time ~
hee x) im soooo excited ~ hahaa xD

Cheer Up

heyy , i was feeling WEIRD y u suddenlyy didnt reply my msg n all ,

but its a gud thing i didnt call u tatt day .

i know wwat happened nww , n i cant change anything .

wad happened has happened , we're HUMAN . we cant doo anything bout it .

juz MOVE ON n LIVE our life . CHEER UP , tats all i can say .

heyy , u're one of my good BUDDYS , i dont wanna u 2 be sadd alwayss .

we had a LIFE we had our FATE . we cant CHANGE everything the way we want it anyway .

so come on , dont keep the SADNESS on ur own .

by the way , i can talk to u if u had anything to sayy :)

heyy , dont keep on SOBER , cuz it'l make ur sorrow feels more ever .

n u'l juz keep DROPPING ur tears over n over .

its ok to MISS an old face , but make sure u dont have tears on ur own face .

LIFE is not always SICK , i'tl be SWEET if u think POSITIVE .

heyy , no more SADNESS, ok ?

all u nid is to BUY TIME , n i'l watch u while it PASS BY .

dont be FOOLISH otherwise u'l LOSE urself .

when the time is RIPE n u feel FINE ,

i'l send my REGARDS 2 u as a good sign .

CHEER UP , MY FIREND :)

thx 4 cheering me up last time , noww is myy turnn ;)

Can I cry ?

if there's a chance ,
i wanted 2 cry everyday in my life .
i'm tired of these argueings n judgegings ,
i wanted 2 be me who i am n always is .

i've changed ..
n i realised tat .

its so hard 4 everything 2 go back .
i lost myself n my innocent tat ppl 'hacked' .
haha . m i ?
things r getting more n more complicated .
n im getting more n more emo .
trying so hard not to lose control ,
dont want myself to be a fool ,
always wanted to look nice n cool ,
but people makes it hard 4 me to do ..

ahh ..
i stil remmeber ,
i lock everyth up in myself ..
im so tired of it ..
i cried nearly everyday at tat time ..
but now ,
i know how to say my feelings out loud .
but too loud tat make people thinks tat im proud .
being straightforward is a problem ,
but its stil better den being sum1 who is speechless ..

i always wanted to be like tat ..
SPEECHLESS
no 1 will know wad i think or what i want .
no 1 wil cum near me n i'l juz be alone .
sumtimes making frens with animals is better then making frens with humans dough .
its true ! haha :D

i like to help ppl , i like to appreciate wat others do 4 me or 4 any1 .
reality is always cruel ..
it'l tear my heart 2 pieces n let it broke juz like tat .
'its ok , i can fix it up.'
but i cant ... i cant do tat anymore ...
i knw how it feels to lose hope nw .
i knw how it feels to lost everyth .
i knw how , to make myself feels even more worser n not better ..

i usually thought tat i shouldnt cry cuz i dun wanna let any1 get worried .
but i cant stand it now ,


CAN I CRY ?

自责 ..

偶尔想一想，
人生就是这么伤，
讲了又讲，也不是一样？
说了又说，
也不是不能解脱？

哥，别这样下去了 ..
我受不了 ..
我到底又做了什么？
告诉我好不好？
我改 ..

是当时不小心太绝的关系么？
告诉你真相就是绝么？就是错么？
难道你要我开着眼睛说谎话 .. ？
我做不到 ..

你就打算这样一直对我不理不睬 ？
假装从没认识过我，曾有这个妹么？
我还忘不了，那天在车上，
你突然握住我的手指 ..
一时的动触，　动摇了我的心 ..
是我自己否认，不小心伤了你 ..

拜托，回我 ..
讲，你到底要我怎么做 ..
我才不觉得自己在做错 ..


我才不必那么的自责 ..

tired ~

my finger r quite hurt cuz i kept on playing bowling ~
yesterday is d 1st time i play 3 round bowling n wow ~
my score r not bad ohh xD
happiii :DD
thx qyla ,thx ain , thx alya , thx teha 4 d teaching n especially thx umi 4 d kiss~
haha xD
hope sunday wil win ^^ n got champion ~


2day go play bowling with zhen hui , i got 2 admit tat my finger stil hurt douh .
my right hand cramp but nt so serious . if saturday play again i duno how wil my hand become . omg ><>< color="#33ff33">zhen hui , thx 4 d waffle :)
two days i kept on play bowling , tmr nid go again @@
when we arrived skul zhen hui went to tuition n i go find my magan:thurga .
Ain 4gt to giv thurga cabin key so i follow her hang gai lol ~
we go watch d scouts n girl guides dancing , n my stupid magan keep teasing dem ==
ish3 , vena2 (no2) . i oso got a new kai muii ~
its soo cold sitting thr in the skul but gud thing simran got staybac so if my magan went home she can accompany me~
in the end simran's sis send me back home . tenkiuu sister ^^

im so happii my bowling playing got improved n hope can play better in d future .
haha xD .
i feel like im writing a karangan now xD
feels weird xp tats all 4 2day , chiao ~

辉春!








12/2/2011





我又去参加了辉春比赛 ^^


很好玩，我学会了如何择红纸，也发现到原来那么多人是那么的有才华^^


有个朋友，因为其自己结果哭了。 :(


别哭别哭哦，你写到很美啦，明年再参加公开的吧^^





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I LOVE MY FRIENDS ! <3





lets talk bout kpp :





huey mun (pengerusi): a very cute girl , nice , soft , funny . can be strict if she wanted to . do things neatly and hate 2 be bothered by other things if she wanted 2 study . of course , a girl who can always help u if she can .


piggy (bendahari): quite matured , pretty , nice , active . likes 2 play n very naughty . people will afraid of her if she's strict , but if she's not , people wont even care or notice her . hmmm , poor thing . a very very very lazy girl but a friend who's always there 2 listen .


gracious (biro disiplin): a soft hearted girl , shy , nice n doesnt talk bad things to or about others . always wanted too much from herself n easily broked . very good in studying , but too shy to make things tat she wants to happen . a fren , who loves u very much but quietly .


thurga (biro disiplin): a very sweet girl , wanted to be cool , hate guys , but cute . easily hurt by frens tat she truly cares about . wanted 2 b a leader in doing sumthing but didnt do things in details . of cuz , sensitive . tat d part u reli nid 2 take care of . she's a fren who always there to giv u kaunseling .


yee chien (pengurus stor): very smart girl , easy 2 talk with , quite innocent 4 sumtimes n tears will bursed out if she's saying out her feelings . can do things nicely n accordingly 2 d order . can lay ur trust on her . a fren who can help u complete a mission .


weng yan (ketua atk): brave girl , positive thinking , great ideas in her head n have a clear mind. sumtimes things tat she'l say might hurt u , but its ok cuz everybody got their own opinion . Emotional but doesnt easily get mad . a fren tat can advice u for things u dont understand.


siti nur ain (ketua atk):pretty , thin , cute personality and very ladylike . lazy to do homework but good in sports . a girl who's easy to get mad sometimes but not always . very loyal n love her boyfriend so much . a fren who is always protect to help u .


farah qylah (ketua papan): pretty , sot sot dei , happy good lucky n high always . has a bright future cuz she has so many kinds of talents . keep smiling even though she's crying , never wanted to give up . a fren who can make u smile .


jing shian (wakil ting):cute , small sized , has a very thick n brown hair . a girl who looks quite , but has her own style n we're cool . doesnt talk bad bout ppl n good in doing things . a fren who's good 2 be ur partner or assistant .


ling xin (ketua tapak):funny , mong cha cha , positive thinking n smart . she's a girl who likes to gardening n very good at it . has a very funny way of positive thinking , but makes u happy bout it . a fren who can cheer u up .



siew jin (ketua masakan):independent , has a nice heart . a girl , who's easy to get mad n doesnt know how to control herself . always wanted to help but hard . too generous tat make others hard to accept her how or who she is . a fren who let u know tat u're not alone.



these are my fren tat stand beside me through my form 4 year .

we fight , we cry , we sad , we happy , although not always together but at least we share some memories 2gether .

getting scold by senior , being pushed by students ,

wanted be the best .. n all lah ! im very happy 4 meeting all of you .

we had different personality's , different ways of thinking , different kind of family's n much more . u guys cherish my form 4 even more n im getting matured . well of cuz sumtimes im sick of their attitude but hey , who cares ?

all i knw is , after tiz year .. its very hard 4 us to meet each other again . we got our own path 2 walk , our own life to enjoy . i hope we'll meet again 1 day .

last but not least , I LOVE U GUYS !! <3

大年初一！

嘿嘿~ 各位，

新年快乐，万事如意，
恭喜发财，红包拿来，
事事顺心，大吉大利，
一帆风顺，富贵满堂，
金玉满堂 及 金玉良言~

兔年行大运 ！！！

哈哈哈 ~ 不知怎么，我在这次的新年感到好兴奋哦 ^^
可能是因为今年新年 :

1。 没得和家人吃团圆饭
2。 爸爸病了住院
3。 哪里都没得去

呼 ;(

就如此 ， 我发现了家人的重要性。
不管是华人 ， 马来人 ， 我都爱我父母两边的亲戚们~
红包月拿越多越好啦 ， 不过有的拿多少就拿多少咯~
今天， 建和讲了一些话，安慰了我很多哦^^
只要我过得到自己的那一关，
什么事都不必再操心了 ^^
谢了哦 ， 我认你做我哥了 ^^

嗯嗯 ， 加油 ~
ganbatte ~
我做到的 ~

嘿嘿 ， 他的举动仿佛和前年的我一样。
由于太深爱了，所以放不开~

宝贝你看？？我以前是很爱很爱你的哦!
虽然如此，我现在也爱你啊~
爱你这个朋友 ^^

因为了解了，所以才珍惜你。
这是我唯一能做到的来补偿一切咯 :)

妈咪叫我收拾心情，我也也应该如此了。
我现在只希望我爸能够好起来～
daddy 我爱你哦 ^^
mmuackzz ;*

崩溃

哈哈， 我记得我的部落格里也有一个题目是‘崩溃’..
现在我又写多一次同一个题目 ..

累了 ... 真的真的很累了 ...
等我死了， 你才甘愿吗？
不 ...
你是想看着我痛苦下去， 你才甘愿 ..
你很矛盾 ， 明明很恨我 ， 但你也想在我旁边守护 ...
说你对又不是，说你错又不是 ...
我看是你破坏我名誉多点 ...
我很努力，不再计较下去 。 但为何你一直重复说一样的东西 ?

你报仇的方法果然恶毒啊 ... 我知道你会说我更恶毒的 ...
我真心的时候你不懂的拥有 。
我放弃的时后你不懂的放手 ...
真可笑 ...
我割手的话，你也会伤害自己。何必呢？
你不是很恨我么？很讨厌我么？

我也不想再伤别人了　...
伤别人，仿佛伤自己　...
精神上的伤，　比身体受到的伤还要得痛　...



俊阳，捷，哥，家伟，宝贝，　及很多很多的人　...

抱歉，我伤了你们　...
我后悔了　...
也没有恶意的　...　　

不过讲真的　，　我没玩你。
你要继续赖话讲下去你的事。　
游戏我也没开始过。
你在挑战我，我会让你知道，
我并没接受　，　也没拒绝。
随你了　，　我不理　！

今天做kuih kapit 的时候我和妈咪突然谈到爸爸的事...
然后讲讲下她讲我.. :

当我不喜欢或不懂得原谅别人的时候，
我会讨厌及远离她/他..
她说我不应该这样..

想想下 ， 的确是这样..
为什么？
什么事导致我这么地狠心 ？
很简单，ami ...



真希望我能快点离开他，
这样，我才不必那么狠心了...

KaliGrafi cOmpeTITion xD

2day went for kaligrafi competition with thurga n qyla ..
although didnt win anyth but i got rich n fun memory of it xD
we hav 2 blow a plum flower by using d black ink n we cant draw it .
freaking hard , man @@
haha xD
keep laughing for d whole day :D
qyla taught me how 2 write n yeah she've done a pretty good job lol .
my writings are prettier den b4 . haha xD
wow, such day lol ^^

its a wonderful day 2day ;)

wow .. 2day i fell down from my mum's scuter .
dun be mistaken , im d one who's driving it .
haha . kinda hurts lol :p
everything happened so fast , i can't imagine people who died in accidents ..
must be horrourfying huh ?
i dun have any wounds just sum scratches at my knee but its ok :)
i got bit trauma after falling down form d scuter .
haha ;D but i stil taking motor license lol xp
my first experience falling down form a motor / scuter .
dont know why quite happy lol :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

2day thurga tought us how 2 dance 'wedding dress' dance steps .
im so happy i've learned d part i always wanted 2 learn XD
she's so pro wif pop dancing :DD
love u gaaa XD
i think d whole dance will be quite different from d mv but its ok ^^
preciatte ur hard work baby girl ^^ mmuackzz ;*

ASSHOLE !

cheap ? go 2 hell lah .
u knw wad ur stupid though .
u dont know how 2 fix everyth back till i liked another guy .
weih , no nid so childish lorh .

im gonna make u regret 4 u said 2 me .
kaw fuck gler fuck ah !
x ksah ! ko pnye psl !
da siap hine sme nk wad hal lg , ske ati ko ah !
mls nk heran ngan org cam ko .

dun care dun mind dun wanna knw anymore .

u're juz a guy :
who know how 2 love ,
who know how 2 care ,
but dont know how 2 understand .

u say i never try 2 understand , u dun even knw d truth .

fucker la u , i dont care .
bitch .






PS: i 4gt wad u said ah sohai !!!!!!!!!!!!